How do we care for elderly relatives who are in denial or minimising the help they need? Come to think of it, this is also a relevant question when parenting young people! With both groups, the push for freedom and independence is understandable. In the face of the increasing frailty and cognitive decline that some older people experience, those caring can feel torn, angry, fearful and guilty.

For those parenting teenagers, we have may see many risks that our offspring haven’t registered yet. Again, we may feel scared for them, annoyed, helpless and that we’re failing. How do we deal with these emotions and the conflict created as we try to be respectful and do our best to reduce the risks?

I was moved and encouraged by the humanity in this article by Barry J Jacobs. He says, “Too often during caregiving, that parent-child bond is severely stressed by pride, minimisation and resistance.”

On an encouraging note, there is this possibility and hope. On caring for his elderly mother, Jacobs says, “When I was empathic, she argued less and agreed to disagree about the care I would arrange for her. Things became a little calmer between us.”

Contact Joy to move towards some support and hope in your difficult caring role.